Dog writes book (almost): What is the Perfect Pong?

My name is Hoover, and I'm an author, Terrier and bath-loather.

Clearly, being a dog, I have literacy issues, but you'll find my name on the cover of What is the Perfect Pong?, a children's book about a dog's pursuit of the world's best smell.

This is cheating, but only slightly. My owner, who writes stuff, and a friend of his who take pictures, spent a day photographing me and the things that took my olfactory fancy. if they didn't, my interest was assisted with a Tesco ham sandwich - see what I mean about cheating?

Anyway, the end results went into the book, so although I didn't really write it, it's still very much my story. It's a cheerful book, although I wasn't always this happy.

Nearly eight years ago, my owners found me abandoned, starving and close to death. The vet who put me on a drip said it would have been curtains if I'd stayed out another 48 hours. You wouldn't know now, and within days I had developed a very special, Superman-style leap, which finished by burying my font paws in my owner's crotch. Needless to say, he's pleased that I've retired from that now.

As for the book, it's aimed at 0-5 year olds, and 25p per copy is going to Dogs Trust, the UK's largest dog welfare charity. It has 17 rehoming centres in the UK which help stray and abandoned dogs to find new, happy homes. Dogs Trust is exactly the sort of place that would have taken me in if I hadn't found a home first.

I've also got a website, whatever that is. It's stuffed with everything you need to know about a certain neutered, bearded male and his literary debut - including how to buy it.

Well, Gravy Bones don't pay for themselves.

You can watch a video of Hoover playing on our YouTube channel!